Watch Week 1 Video (2-5 minutes)
Open With Prayer (2-10 minutes)
Invite the Holy Spirit to be present, illuminate the Scriptures, and to have Jesus’ will done today in the group.
Read This Overview
This week we are talking about BECOMING. We are going to look at who we are and who we are in the process of becoming. God has a beautiful plan and vision for you and for His Church, as God invites us into the Kingdom of God. It is a kingdom of restoration, redemption, and new life. In Christ Jesus you are taking off the old self and putting on the new self. As we follow Jesus we lose our life, but find actual life. However, God doesn't just love future you.
God is madly in love with you. Yes, you. He sees you where you are at, and He loves you where you at. Know that first and foremost. Jesus stepped foot on earth and declared, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand" (Mark 1:15). Through believing Jesus is who he says He is we are gifted new life; we are new creations through salvation. As we walk through life yoked with God and adopt the lifestyle of Jesus, we become more and more like Jesus. Our sinful nature get’s redeemed. Our shame, loneliness, insecurities, anger, bitterness, and fear, to just name a few, are placed at the feet of King Jesus. It is here where we begin to find healing, rest, joy, peace, love, and life. We are being transformed in the image of Jesus.
Read This Scripture
“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” - 2 Corinthians 3:17-18 (NIV)
Talk Together (10-20 minutes)
In groups of 3-4, ask the following questions:
In what areas of your character is Jesus inviting you to grow?
Tell me about your vision for inner growth in this next season of life?
How are you longing to grow and look like Jesus in your relationship with God?
As a Group (10-20 minutes)
Exercise 1: Bowen’s Scale of Differentiation
The following is Pete Szazzero’s adaptation of Murray Bowen’s “scale of differentiation” found in his book Emotionally Healthy Spirituality.
People with a high level of differentiation can live in line with their identity and calling. They are free from the tyranny of the approval or disapproval of other people. They can be in a close relationship with people even when they have a very different vision and value set.
Take a few minutes to read through Bowen’s scale: 0..............25...............50...............75...............100
0–25
Can’t distinguish between fact and feeling
Emotionally needy and highly reactive to others
Much of life energy spent in winning the approval of others
Little energy for goal-directed activities
Can’t say, “I think. . . I believe. . .”
Little emotional separation from their families
Dependent marital relationships
Do very poorly in transitions, crises, and life adjustments
Unable to see where they end and others begin
25–50
Some ability to distinguish between fact and feeling
Most of self is a “false self” and reflected from others
When anxiety is low, they function relatively well
Quick to imitate others and change themselves to gain acceptance from others
Often talk one set of principles/beliefs, yet do another
Self-esteem soars with compliments or is crushed by criticism
Become anxious (i.e., highly reactive and “freaking out”) when a relationship system falls apart or becomes unbalanced
Often make poor decisions due to their inability to think clearly under stress
Seek power, honor, knowledge, and love from others to clothe their false selves
50–75
Aware of the thinking and feeling functions that work as a team
Reasonable level of “true self”
Can follow life goals that are determined from within
Can state beliefs calmly without putting others down
Marriage is a functioning partnership where intimacy can be enjoyed without losing the self
Can allow children to progress through developmental phases into adult automomy
Function well—alone or with others
Able to cope with crises without falling apart
Stay in relational connection with others without insisting they see the world the same
70–100 (Few people function at this level)
Are principle oriented and goal directed—secure in who they are, unaffected by criticism or praise
Is able to leave family of origin and become an inner-directed, separate adult, sure of their beliefs but not dogmatic or closed in their thinking
Can hear and evaluate beliefs of others, discarding old beliefs in favor of new ones
Can listen without acting and communicate without antagonizing others
Can respect others without having to change them
Aware of dependence on others and responsibility for others
Free to enjoy life and play
Able to maintain a non-anxious presence in the midst of stress and pressure
Able to take responsibility for their own destiny and life
Now, for this next part, remember, do this with compassion! For yourself and the people around you. The goal is to grow into “life to the full”; not to feel guilty.
First, take a few minutes of quiet and…
Identify which category fits your current emotional state the best.
Highlight key areas where you see potential for growth in your spiritual formation.
Then take a few minutes to share…
In small groups of 3-4, or around the room with everyone, share the category you resonate the most with, and some key areas where you see potential for growth.
After each person shares, spend a minute or two “blessing” that person with words of love and affirmation.
Note for later: If you have a significant other, close friend, or community member that you feel really safe with, ask them to give you a category and to tell you why.
This Week’s Practice Options
Meet up with a trusted friend and talk about your who you are, where you land on Bowen's Scale, and who God is inviting you to be. Be honest with where you are at. Be honest with who you want to be.
Spend 30-45 minutes with God this week reflecting, praying, listening, and/or journaling about who you desire to be(come), and who God is inviting you to be(come).
Close Life Group in Prayer (2-10 minutes)
For Further Study
Ephesians 5:1-2; 2 Corinthians 5:18-21; Galatians 5:22-23; Romans 12:2; Micah 6:8; Ephesians 4:22-24